Writing Fail & Book Pimping

Last week I sat down to write a fantasy short story. I got about 300 or so words into it and stopped because I've had easier times removing fence posts from dried concrete. The words were just not coming. I opened that story back up each day this past week and stared at it, hoping to conjure something, but nothing magically appeared. I just couldn't do it and wasn't sure why. Then when reading K.C. Shaw's new novel, Jack of all Trades (go buy a copy!), I realized what was wrong. Years back I read fantasy to the exclusion of all else. I did that for years before venturing into science fiction and horror. Because I read so many fantasy books in times past (literally hundreds of books), I gradually moved on to other things. I realized tonight that it has been a long time since I read fantasy regularly and because of that, the unique terminology inherent in such tales as well as basic knowledge of medieval/renaissance life has fled from my mind. At one time, I studied such things and poured over history books on life in the middle ages, but it's been so long since I did that, whatever I learned needs to be re-learned. So the end result is, I've given up on any fantasy stories until I can brush up on my facts. Poo! I had this neat idea about a wizard named Gabeus Fillymander who ran a private magical detective agency, but who was called upon a lot by the city guard to help solve crimes and mysteries. Naturally he is hiding a big secret from his past. Oh, well. Maybe someday.

Time for some book pimping!

First we have the 52 Stitches collection from Strange Publications, gathering all the stories from the project's initial year, including two of my stories, Nuts and The Confession. Available from Amazon.





Next up is the new anthology from Pill Hill Press, The Middle of Nowhere: Horror in rural America. Available from both Amazon and Barnes and Noble. This one opens with my ghost tale, The Gallery of Final Repose.





And of course, we have The Devil's Food from The Monsters Next Door. My offering, The Faceless Ones shares this awesome book with notable names like David Dunwoody, Natalie L. Sin and Aaron Polson. Available from Amazon.





Even though I don't have a story in it (I did make the shortlist though!), the new Dead Bait anthology from Severed Press is now out. The aforementioned David Dunwoody and Aaron Polson have tales in this book, so you know right there it's packed with quality stuff. Available from Amazon.




Let's not forget the book I mentioned earlier, K.C. Shaw's Jack of all Trades. You can get it at Amazon, Barnes and Noble or from the publisher. I advise the latter.






While you're buying books, be sure to get a copy of Cate Gardner's awesome chapbook, The Sour Aftertaste of Olive Lemon, available from Bucket 'O' Guts Press.





Now I'm off to get in another chapter or two of Jack of all Trades before calling it a night.

Shamelessly Stolen

Well, let's try this one more time, since %$#@!*& Blogger erased all my text and auto saved before I could undo it the first time I tried to post this.

Shamelessly stolen from Aaron, who seems to have jump started a meme without realizing it, here is the list of my favorite stories that I have written.

1. Deadliest Cachalot - Currently shortlisted at the Dead Bait antho. This one was written twice because the first draft was lost in the hard drive crash. I like to think I made it better the second time around. I'm rather proud of the fact that I wrote it twice, seeing it as my way of not giving in to the despair of the crash.

2. The Transcendental Man - Currently subbed. Another story rewritten from scratch due to the hard drive crash. This is one of only two stories I have written in first person, but the opening line wouldn't work as well any other way.

3. The Faceless Ones - Accepted for the Devil's Food antho. This story convinced me that I could write a novel someday. I slaved on this one for the better part of a month before deciding to send it off. I plan on revisiting the bad guys in this one someday.

4. Maximus Rising - Accepted for Sand #5. A simple character driven piece about two brothers dealing with a loss. Ed at Sand asked for a rewrite and helped me make it better.

5. The Horror of Pine Hollow - Currently subbed. This one got my own heart racing while writing it, which proves how much fun I had in the creation process. I despise weak female characters and this one was my attempt at featuring a kickass female protagonist.

6. The Gallery of Final Repose - Currently subbed. A ghost story with a (hopefully) horrifying end. I based the characters on myself and three friends as teens, probably why they were so easy to write.

7. Planting Season - Currently subbed. I love monsters, but this is one of the first times I looked at the monster within a Human being. Still threw in a non-Human monster.

8. Pruritus Maximus - Currently subbed. A tale of dark humor. I really worked hard on this one, chopping, writing then chopping some more, all in an effort to get it at the right length yet retain everything I wanted to include. Men will no doubt find this story horrifying.

9. The Madness in Their Eyes - Rejected once, considering a rewrite before subbing again. About interdimensional non corporeal creatures that are serial killers. I like the idea, but the execution may need reworking.

10. A Cause for Celebration. Rejected more than any other story, it currently sits on the computer while I consider retiring it. The basic premise originated in the mid 90's, but the story has seen several revisions over the years. I like it because it is a character driven piece with a more subdued sense of horror. Too subdued for most markets, apparently. Ed at Sand offered some good things to say about it, but still passed.

This And That

After a rather slow March, things are already picking up for April. With the closing of From the Asylum, my story Pruritus Maximus was returned to me. It had been at FTA since November and I was considering withdrawing it in order to sub elsewhere. I originally wrote it for the Dark Jesters antho, so I need to find a market that considers humorous horror.

Then last night I received a rejection from A Fly in Amber for A Cause For Celebration. That's now the third rejection this year alone for that story. I might it sub it a time or two again before considering a revision or just flat out retiring it.

Bummed about the rejection, I was totally shocked to hear from the Devil's Food anthology today, which has accepted my story, The Faceless Ones. Not only am I jazzed about the acceptance, but relieved, since that was one of the stories that was obliterated in the hard drive crash a couple months back. Now I don't have to worry about asking for it back.

I haven't written at all since Tuesday, being so pooped out from work. I plan on squeezing in some writing time tomorrow. Tonight is movie night with The Other Half. By weekend's end, I should have both Pruritus Maximus and A Cause For Celebration out again, as well as a new story, Planting Season.

It's What Day?

A few days ago I suddenly realized that the end of March was fast approaching. I also realized it was the deadline for about half a dozen markets I had wanted to sub to. Could I turn out anything of quality in time (does he turn out anything of quality ever you may be asking) for each one? No way, but I can try and get something sent off to two or three of them, which is what I've been busily doing since Tuesday. It helps that this is a three day weekend for me and I have very few errands to run, so I can maximize my time at the keyboard.

I also realized that I have not had a response at all in March from any of the markets I've subbed to, with the exception of the Dead Bait antho, which told me I was shortlisted back on the third. I'm getting rather nervous, wondering if I made the cut on that one or any of the others (Devil's Food). Of course, now that I've pointed this fact out, I'll be deluged with rejections.

Brain Dead

Ugh.

I put that weed story aside for a day or two in hopes of brainstorming an idea for the Hideous Evermore anthology (with a deadline in one week's time). I've sat here at this blasted keyboard, staring at this blank screen for the last fours and my grand total written tonight? ZERO. This must be the cosmos balancing itself after my 4k binge yesterday. An idea is slowly forming in my head for a story, but it appears that it needs time to bake some more, so I am off to bed.

Maybe it was a lack of cheese puffs today that did in my muse.

Plus, work has been a nightmare. My aches and pains now have aches and pains. I can't seem to do very much of anything without incurring sore muscles or some other sort of lingering discomfort. Getting older SUCKS.

Did I say UGH?

Still nothing from Devil's Food.

Weekend Progress

Saturday was a lost cause. I ended up running around town on errands, but did score a free steak and crab dinner. After everything, I was too tired to write very much. I ended up watching The Midnight Meat Train and then passed out.

Today, however was very good. I polished up and edited Horror in the Chamber of Steam, then sent it off to two volunteer beta readers. Then the muse really kicked me in the ass and I pounded out 4,000 words for a new story currently called The Evil Weed. I know I'm gonna change that title, but I enjoyed the writing process today. Things really flowed well. Maybe my junk food diet today (toaster strudel, cheese puffs, candy bars and ice cream) helped kick start the creative juices. This new story is one of my more nastier tales, filled with sex, graphic violence, twin rapists and death by having one's internal organs sucked out...through the anus.

I see more and more people are hearing back from the Devil's Food antho. I confess to getting rather nervous about my own submission.