The Email Gods Hate Me

I really, really need to just turn my email program on once a day to check things. As it is now, I keep it open whenever the computer is on (which on a day like today, begins when I wake up at 6:30 AM and ends when I go to sleep). Whenever the chime sounds that denotes a new email, or whenever I return to the office to find something new in the inbox, I get all excited. Could it be a response from a submission? Which one? Possibly an acceptance? A rejection? Eagerly I go to check. So far I've received 17 emails since May 1st.

1 newsletter from Amazon
1 newsletter from Cemetery Dance
5 receipt confirmations from Tweet the meat
1 acceptance/rejection from Micro 100

The other nine? All notifications that someone was now following me on Twitter. Now, that's good and all, but it seemed like every time I turned around and eagerly opened an email, it was from Twitter. Talk about dashed hopes! The truly mystifying part is why my city's local newspaper has decided to follow me. Hmm...

Micro 003/100
"Mistaken Identity" - 100 words

It was only after twelve hours of orbital bombardment, which had vaporized over fifty major cities, that the alien fleet halted its attack on Earth.

We all climbed out of our hiding places and amidst the settling dust, listened as the invaders began broadcasting across the globe on every known frequency. In shock and anger we stared at each other as they apologized for the clerical error that led to their mistaken attack on our world.

To err is Human, someone once said, but to royally fuck up on an interstellar scale is purely Hygorian, or so it would seem.