Sunday, May 3, 2009

The Email Gods Hate Me

I really, really need to just turn my email program on once a day to check things. As it is now, I keep it open whenever the computer is on (which on a day like today, begins when I wake up at 6:30 AM and ends when I go to sleep). Whenever the chime sounds that denotes a new email, or whenever I return to the office to find something new in the inbox, I get all excited. Could it be a response from a submission? Which one? Possibly an acceptance? A rejection? Eagerly I go to check. So far I've received 17 emails since May 1st.

1 newsletter from Amazon
1 newsletter from Cemetery Dance
5 receipt confirmations from Tweet the meat
1 acceptance/rejection from Micro 100

The other nine? All notifications that someone was now following me on Twitter. Now, that's good and all, but it seemed like every time I turned around and eagerly opened an email, it was from Twitter. Talk about dashed hopes! The truly mystifying part is why my city's local newspaper has decided to follow me. Hmm...

Micro 003/100
"Mistaken Identity" - 100 words

It was only after twelve hours of orbital bombardment, which had vaporized over fifty major cities, that the alien fleet halted its attack on Earth.

We all climbed out of our hiding places and amidst the settling dust, listened as the invaders began broadcasting across the globe on every known frequency. In shock and anger we stared at each other as they apologized for the clerical error that led to their mistaken attack on our world.

To err is Human, someone once said, but to royally fuck up on an interstellar scale is purely Hygorian, or so it would seem.

8 comments:

Catherine J Gardner said...

How do you manage so few emails? I woke up to 37* this morning and I average about 70 a day.

*one of them a contract, twitter follower emails, blog post emails, no acceptances/rejections, and a fair share of spam.

Barry Napier said...

Your list reminds me of why I never sign up for newsletters...

Jamie Eyberg said...

I think I average about 15 a day, most are updates from various blogs.

I loved the last line in your story today. hehe!

K.C. Shaw said...

I think you can turn off those Twitter notifications. And I hate when I sub to a market and then I'm on their spam list forEVER. (It's okay if they accepted my story, but the ones that do that are usually the ones that reject me.)

Today's story was awesome! Perfect for a Monday morning. :)

Aaron Polson said...

Yeah...the spam list from pubs is a little annoying--and I don't even sign up for those newsletters.

Danielle Ferries said...

Mistaken Identity is classic.

Jameson T. Caine said...

Cate - I get so few emails because nobody likes me. :(

Seriously, I think it's because I don't know too many people or have much reason for people to be emailing me.

Barry and Aaron- I may have to unsubscribe to a few newsletters. They seem to be more annoying at times than useful.

Jamie, K.C. and Danielle - Thanks!

Natalie L. Sin said...

I'll get all excited and, huzzah! Am email from Toy Tokyo *rolls eyes*