Sunday, March 28, 2010

Review: One Million AC/DC

Simply put, this movie sucks worse than a malfunctioning sex doll. A tribe of cavemen deal with horny apes and hungry T-Rexes while simultaneously inventing pornography, wine making and BBQ. When not engaged in one of these activities, you'll find them screwing non stop. Hey, at the rate these morons get themselves killed, the Earth needed repopulating real quick.

Made in 1969, this film was nothing but a cheap "nudie" made to play on the grindhouse circuit. Nowadays the only grinding will be your brain as it comes to a crashing halt when watching this utter mess. This is the very first film in The Graveyard's history to score my lowest rating possible: The Toilet. Seriously, all copies of this film need to be consigned to the sewers along with the alligators and cannibals.

Lessons imparted by this film include:

1. "Going Ape" had an entirely different meaning a million years ago.
2. Even in prehistoric times, blondes were trouble.
3. All cavemen were capable of copulating without having to remove their fur clothing.

Go to review, if you're willing.

4 comments:

Natalie L. Sin said...

For a few confused seconds, I thought the band AC/DC made a horrible movie.

Alan W. Davidson said...

As Natalie noted, I'm glad it had nothing to do with Angus and the boys. However, it may be what me and the guys need for our 'bad movie night'. The badder, the better!

Aaron Polson said...

"3. All cavemen were capable of copulating without having to remove their fur clothing."

I'm guessing the cavewomen couldn't do the same, right?

Jameson T. Caine said...

Nat - if only, then it might have been entertaining a la "Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park."

Alan - This one is perfect for bad movie night. It's also a good substitution for Dr. Kevorkian's services.

Aaron - Exactly.